


I'm here

by MangaBitch



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Affection, Affectionate Insults, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys Kissing, Canon Gay Relationship, Carrying, Childhood Trauma, Comfort, Crying, Dead Carla Yeager, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gentle Kissing, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Male Homosexuality, Nightmares, Regret, Romantic Fluff, Sharing a Bed, Sleepy Cuddles, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touching, Touchy-Feely, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 21:08:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11112912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangaBitch/pseuds/MangaBitch
Summary: Jean wakes up in the night to find the bed empty. He goes in search of Eren and finds him asleep on the couch. This leads to them having a talk and falling in love all over again





	I'm here

**Author's Note:**

> get ready for feels

Jean lay peacefully in bed, his undercut ruffled from turning in his sleep. One arm rested under his pillow for support, the other laid beside him on the bed close to his chest. Instinctively he reached out to hold Eren. Though they didn't always spoon, Jean would always reach out to Eren in sleep just to know he was there. For comforting reasons.

However, as he reached out across the bed, instead of touching a warm body like he expected he was instead met with nothing. An empty bed beside him instead of a warm body. Jean's eyebrows scrunched and he felt around the bed for a while in case Eren had simply moved. However, Eren was not in the bed beside him like he usually was.

Jean opened his eyes slowly waking himself from his peaceful sleep. His mind fuzzy and his head still full of sleep, he shouldn't be awake but the discomfort of knowing Eren wasn't there confused him. He was used to cuddling up to someone when he slept, then returning to his slumber knowing Eren was ok.

The bed was slightly cold meaning Eren had been gone a while. But how had he left without him knowing about it? He sat up slowly and flicked on the bedside light illuminating the room. He winced briefly at the sudden brightness but eventually adjusted to the knew ability to see instead of darkness around him.

As he suspected Eren was indeed gone. The sheets shifted showing he had left the bed, but where on earth could he have gone at this time of night? He would have heard the toilet flush if he went to the bathroom, he had rather keen hearing. That was what worried him, not having felt or heard him leave.

Now awake due to concern, Jean climbed out of bed to find his boyfriend. He knew Eren got restless during the night when he was too warm, but he would always cool off and come back to bed. He would never stray too far where Jean wouldn't find him, the two of them being secretly mushy individuals in the relationship.

He wondered through the dark apartment quietly trying to find his boyfriend. But he was nowhere to be seen, eventually he found him in the sitting room. A side light on beside him. Relieved, he approached Eren to confront him on why he was awake so late at night? While they didn't have work, sleep was still very important and it wasn't good for the body.

As he got closer a flash of worry ran through Jean, sensing that something was not right at all. Eren was curled up on the sofa, his body language guarded, his head rested on his knees like a child. His eyes were red and puffy and he looked really upset. He couldn't remember he had seen Eren upset, at least not to this extent.

Eren had been crying? Here in the sitting room alone without his knowledge? God, he really must have been out of it. It made him feel bad that he hadn't been able to comfort him. But what worried him was to why Eren had been crying? It took a shit tonne to make Eren snap and cry, he could handle himself and tended to be very good at keeping his emotions locked away (aside from anger).

Jean hesitated then decided to speak up "Eren… babe?" he called out softly. Eren shifted in his seat then looked up at Jean weakly, a lonely expression on his face as he addressed his lover. His body language relaxing slightly, showing he was letting his guard down. Letting Jean know that he trusted him to see him like this.

Eren still had tears in his eyes, his body heavy and his body language weak. He looked so lost and alone, but just what in the hell had caused him to become so upset? Jean then noticed the photo on the table beside him making his heart feel like it was being squeezed. The photo was none other than Eren's deceased mother Carla.

Jean then softened and sighed gently under his breath. He then approached Eren quietly without speaking a word as he closed the gap between them. A few months into their relationship after they had been together some time, Jean had learned Eren's mother had died when he was 10.

Mikasa and Armin had been the ones to tell him (since they were his childhood friends). She had been killed in a hit and run, crushed from the waist down. Leaving Eren traumatized. Due to grief and whatever else problems, Grisha had abandoned Eren and he hadn't heard from his since, leaving Eren to be raised by Mikasa and her uncle Levi.

Jean used to give Eren shit when they were in middle school about being a mama's boy or running home to mama. The usual shit, but back then he never thought about how much it would hurt him. He had been a dumb kid, himself carrying issues from his parents divorce and the kids in his neighbourhood bullying him.

After learning this he felt like such a dick, he would later break down and apologize to Eren. Begging him to forgive him for being such an ass and hurting him when they were kids. He could never imagine how Eren was feeling, to lose his mother in such a tragic way. It made him appreciate having his own mother still, even if she did nag and baby him sometimes.

He then sat beside Eren quietly and wrapped his arms around the brunette. Holding him securely so he would feel safe. Instead of pushing him away, Eren simply softened in his embrace. Showing that he trusted him, that he was ok with showing Jean this weaker and more fragile part of himself that he usually locked away.

"That dream again huh?" Jean soothed affectionately. He couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of memories Eren had locked inside his heart. But he would do his best to heal them. He would help Eren cope with the demons he had tried to bury away all this time and forget, so he wouldn't have to carry the burden alone anymore.

Eren nodded gently into Jean's shoulder. They never went away, only getting worse every time he remembered. He could still see her face as she died, the blood and the tears she had on her face as the light left her eyes. If he had known she would die so soon, leaving him behind with only her memory. He wouldn't have been such a little shit and appreciated her more.

Jean then kissed Eren atop the head affectionately still holding him in his arms. Eren had endured so much over the years, more than he could ever imagine. He had done well to be strong all this time. "She'd be proud of you Eren. You're a little shit but you have a good heart deep down and a strong will" he soothed. Though he was rough around the edges, Eren meant well in his own way.

He was just bad at conveying his emotions, having gone through such trauma at such a young age had screwed with him. Causing him to lash out at the world and hide his pain. I mean he had been 10, how was anyone supposed to cope with such a great loss at that age and come out rational or level headed?

Eren sniffed tearfully and nodded, he just missed her so much. His heart longing to be able to wake up and realize it was all a dream and she was still here. He would give anything to have her back, but he never would. She was gone forever and she was never coming back. That was what hurt the most.

But he was glad to have Jean in his life. He acted as his rock and ended up being someone he could rely on more than anything. Seeing him in a different light to how he had been when they were kids. The two of them being imperfect and damaged, yet finding comfort in those things realizing they were more alike than they once thought.

Jean then picked up Eren still holding him close to his chest. His arms more than supporting him, he was a lot stronger than he looked thanks to years of training. These arms he would use to support and protect Eren for the rest of their lives, when Eren lost the strength to do so by himself.

Eren clung to Jean tightly, his face buried into his chest like a baby would a parent. Feeling his heartbeat through his chest, breathing in his familiar smell of musky and body wash. He felt safe, loved and protected in these arms.

* * *

Eren and Jean lay in bed together, simply gazing into each other's eyes in the low lighting of the room. Not caring about the beside light that was still on beside them. Just content with reminding each other that they were still here, that this wasn't a dream and that they were still together.

Jean gently stroking Eren's cheek affectionately. Wanting to let Eren know he was ok, that he was safe. That he was here beside him and he always would be no matter what. "Why don't we go visit her sometime? I could clean it up for you, though I'm sure I won't do the best job. We can leave her some fresh flowers too" he suggested softly.

A small smile came across Eren's face "Yeah, she'd like that" he agreed. He was glad Jean was so understanding, no longer teasing him but just listening and being there. Knowing what to do and what to say to calm the storm inside of him. Letting him know he was here and that he was never going anywhere. That was what he appreciated the most.

Jean hummed fondly and continued to stroke his face, his eyes and heart filled with love. "You feeling better? If you had another nightmare about her you should have woken me babe" he soothed. He didn't know why Eren still thought he had to deal with them alone, when he had him by his side.

Eren nodded, he had just been so used to coping with it on his own by now. But from now on if they ever plagued him again, he would run to Jean without hesitation. He then scooted towards Jean and nuzzled into his chest again. For whatever reason, Eren was always clingy when he cried. Seeking comfort, reassurance and affection.

Jean smiled and laughed fondly under his breath. Only he could see Eren like this, acting so childish. He then wrapped his arms around Eren cuddling him close. "My stubborn little idiot" he teased sleepily. And he always would be.

**Author's Note:**

> Jean is such a cinnamon bun, why does everyone portray him as such a dick?


End file.
